he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
