you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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