Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
