i wish there were pregnant emoticons
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Terrible idea I love it
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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