you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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