someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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