Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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