I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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