Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.

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(419): I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl. http://tfl.nu/cxal

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Do you have a shampoo for semen

(604): View more from British Columbia

Or a time machine

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(604): Do you have a shampoo for semen (604): Or a time machine http://tfl.nu/n3wr

Replies (29) Good night (1144) Bad night (3648)
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(541): View more from Oregon

at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww

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(541): at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww http://tfl.nu/qfxi

Replies (108) Good night (1528) Bad night (32899)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.

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(508): I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave. http://tfl.nu/zhay

Replies (6) Good night (1465) Bad night (3827)
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(313): View more from Michigan

Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.

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(313): Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings. http://tfl.nu/tdjs

Replies (13) Good night (3881) Bad night (1433)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

and then he started using my ass as a stressball

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(973): and then he started using my ass as a stressball http://tfl.nu/q5mx

Replies (16) Good night (3667) Bad night (1513)
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(914): View more from New York

I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."

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(914): I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock." http://tfl.nu/14j8

Replies (2) Good night (1678) Bad night (3036)
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(214): View more from Texas

Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.

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(214): Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours. http://tfl.nu/p1m2

Replies (13) Good night (2756) Bad night (739)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.

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(203): it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along. http://tfl.nu/rnt1

Replies (3) Good night (2636) Bad night (731)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well

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(773): Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well http://tfl.nu/o41u

Replies (4) Good night (620) Bad night (1287)
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(613): View more from Ontario

I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.

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(613): I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated. http://tfl.nu/yhxc

Replies (3) Good night (1298) Bad night (547)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?

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(423): Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina? http://tfl.nu/kprk

Replies (5) Good night (1124) Bad night (619)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.

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(704): I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina. http://tfl.nu/8h1n

Replies (9) Good night (716) Bad night (395)
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(575): View more from New Mexico

I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.

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(575): I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone. http://tfl.nu/i4rk

Replies (3) Good night (366) Bad night (505)
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(618): View more from Illinois

I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.

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(618): I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little. http://tfl.nu/lho3

Replies (2) Good night (242) Bad night (382)

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