i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
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All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
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He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
So much Jack, so little girl.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.