Texts From Last Night

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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.

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  (405): i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college. http://tfl.nu/j0w5
  Replies (58) Good night (6407) Bad night (809)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????

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  (414): they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed???? http://tfl.nu/zsp8
  Replies (39) Good night (6431) Bad night (1674)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"

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  (606): I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?" http://tfl.nu/ecul
  Replies (56) Good night (1078) Bad night (5143)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.

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  (509): They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried. http://tfl.nu/h9l8
  Replies (17) Good night (2170) Bad night (4416)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.

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  (312): All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday. http://tfl.nu/9i7k
  Replies (1) Good night (702) Bad night (1105)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.

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  (304): Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms. http://tfl.nu/onlr
  Replies (5) Good night (2010) Bad night (469)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm

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  (585): Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm http://tfl.nu/bhwz
  Replies (9) Good night (633) Bad night (3454)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.

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  (740): I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper. http://tfl.nu/p7ov
  Replies (4) Good night (1355) Bad night (645)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.

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  (414): Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears. http://tfl.nu/il0c
  Replies (7) Good night (628) Bad night (1684)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.

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  (905): This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick. http://tfl.nu/xvkz
  Replies (2) Good night (845) Bad night (301)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success

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  (226): I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success http://tfl.nu/m6v1
  Replies (0) Good night (421) Bad night (316)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.

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  (469): I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real. http://tfl.nu/da4u
  Replies (1) Good night (552) Bad night (255)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  the girl whose rug I peed on is here

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  (205): the girl whose rug I peed on is here http://tfl.nu/6wyj
  Replies (4) Good night (319) Bad night (519)
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  (909): View more from California

  I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.

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  (909): I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day. http://tfl.nu/6mst
  Replies (1) Good night (501) Bad night (240)
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  (585): View more from New York

  I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night

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  (585): I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night http://tfl.nu/wd4l
  Replies (1) Good night (514) Bad night (173)

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