Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(858): View more from California

anal on a first date. tsk tsk.

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(952): View more from Minnesota

Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me

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(231): View more from Michigan

We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(801): View more from Utah

Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college

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(515): View more from Iowa

she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex

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(614): View more from Ohio

Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.

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(845): View more from New York

So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call

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