I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
