my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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