Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i will never coherently bang her
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
