Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
