imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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