Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize