some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
