I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
