Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
he wants to bone in the snuggie
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
