How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
