so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Randomize
