An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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