He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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