this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
