Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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