I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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