is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
There are leaves in my underwear?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
