The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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