Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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