I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
