i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
