Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.

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(913): View more from Kansas

I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Get you some cowboy.

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.

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(937): View more from Ohio

But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver

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(682): View more from Texas

For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...

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