By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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