i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize