We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
