We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
is wine microwaveable?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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