im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
True college students do jello shots in the library
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize