well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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