Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
