East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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