My sheets look like a crime scene.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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