Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize