My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
