I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
