i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
