I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize