Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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