Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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