i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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