booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
This couple is walking their pig around campus
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize