I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
she peed on how many people?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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