I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
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private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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