i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
