In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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