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I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
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