Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(916): View more from California

I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.

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(916): I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy. http://tfl.nu/1tnq

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(919): View more from North Carolina

OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

No. You're kidding.

(919): View more from North Carolina

I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.

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(919): OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto! (1-919): No. You're kidding. (919): I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth. http://tfl.nu/fp67

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.

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(902): i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots. http://tfl.nu/58kw

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday

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(608): margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday http://tfl.nu/m5c8

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(480): View more from Arizona

he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him

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(480): he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him http://tfl.nu/q5w1

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(516): View more from New York

any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?

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(516): any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club? http://tfl.nu/452g

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(731): View more from Tennessee

the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.

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(731): the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink. http://tfl.nu/2z0e

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(802): View more from Vermont

i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.

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(802): i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please. http://tfl.nu/g6pa

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(541): View more from Oregon

he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.

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(541): he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'. http://tfl.nu/j3su

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(616): View more from Michigan

i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..

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(616): i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent.. http://tfl.nu/zm5m

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.

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(610): The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom. (484): I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you. http://tfl.nu/hypz

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(360): View more from Washington

You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.

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(360): You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch. http://tfl.nu/13cn

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.

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(412): Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever. http://tfl.nu/jfd9

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(985): View more from Louisiana

My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.

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(985): My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong. http://tfl.nu/gho7

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(574): View more from Indiana

she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to

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(574): she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to http://tfl.nu/1loy

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