I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
I am midnight drunk by noon
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!