those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
