i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
