So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Can you bring me the toilet please
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize