Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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