6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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