All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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