And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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